Talking about my struggles had a negative effect on my mental health
***WARNING – THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS DETAIL AND DESCRIPTIONS THAT MAY CAUSE UPSET***
When I was sixteen, I was sexually assaulted by someone that I knew from school. This was the start of my struggles with mental health as this played on my mind for years and led me to struggle to trust anyone.
I then met my now ex-partner who I did opened up to as I thought he would be understanding about my mental health but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I was already low on self-esteem and our relationship because abusive. I’d be called “boring” when I struggled to go out, would often be called “fat” and when I was struggling with my depression I would be told to “snap out of it”. This is something I lived with for over three years.
In 2007, I plucked up the courage to go to the doctors and spoke about my experiences and what I had gone through. The doctor diagnosed me with depression and generalised anxiety disorder. It was then I was prescribed medication which I used for over ten years. I was prescribed fluoxetine which I took take daily. I never really felt these were a big help and in 2018 I struggled so badly I self-harmed. Knowing then I needed help I referred myself back to the doctor and was assessed by a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist changed my medication, this time to 10mg of escitalopram which have been a fantastic help to me.
I still do have my ups and downs but with lockdown at present I know things are challenging for everyone. As things are challenging for us all I’m keeping myself busy as I’m part of a sewing group. We are making Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) for care homes, NHS staff and key workers. Once things start to settle down, I’m going to look at doing more voluntary work.
It’s okay to not be okay. We all have our ups and downs with some days being better than others. Knowing you aren’t alone is a huge help and if you are struggling please reach out for help.
If you would like to contact Fine and Dandi in regard to this journey, would like to get involved with Fine and Dandi or would like to share your own journey then please contact us.
Although we are really pleased that the specific medication about has been a great help the effect of medications can vary from person to person so it is always advisable to discuss medications with your GP.
Rape Crisis England & Wales is the umbrella body for a network of independent Rape Crisis Centres. All of their member Centres provide specialist support and services for victims and survivors of sexual violence.
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